The Dream of a Libertine

Snappy title don't you think? 

I find it a great wonder what the word libertine actually means, and where people who classify themselves as it stand. It sounds rather lovely, doesn't it? As, of course, we are all familiar with the gratifying and attractive word liberty - an utterly beautiful and, yet, impossible idea. I have grown up feeling a longing to be closer to this mere seven letter word, to understand it, to shape it and to achieve its wonder someday. Of course, that could all be rubbish. I mean, isn't it customary for a creative thinker to have some sort of flowery connection to the idea of freedom?

I do actually love the word, the curves of the letters, the shape my lips make as I say it, that subtle flick of the tongue - I'm afraid I am too flowery for my own good. This word makes writers absolutely cringe as their mind melts like butter over the idea. Absolutely beautiful. 

Libertine, however, bares a similar yet different idea. It is (as you've probably gathered a lot faster than I get to the point) a word to associate with someone, for example; he is a libertine, or I am a libertine. So obviously, with that in mind, we should think that a libertine is some sort of enigma that masters the impossible... to be completely free in mind and spirit, a beautiful and cleansed soul. This is what the word freedom deconstructs into in my mind. Well, no... it bares a slightly different emblem, here are several definitions I found:

Libertine:

"One who acts without moral restraint; a dissolute person."

"A person, esp. a man, who behaves without moral principles."

"A person who is unrestrained by convention or morality;specifically : one leading a dissolute life."


Now, you may as well be thinking, those definitions aren't utterly, ridiculously shocking - they aren't. They are, however, nothing like how I would have defined the word. Without getting too emotionally flustered and back to sounding like a retired poet trying to get back in the game, I'd just like to say - why the repeated word of dissolute. Another word that I would probably over-think to define. A person who is free in pleasure and self-indulgence would be a good way of putting it... however, that sounds a bit egoistic. To me, I don't think freedom necessarily leads to self-importance and putting oneself above all. 

Sure, some are going to criticize me right about now. If you are free, you don't follow the rules, you don't listen to authority, you do everything for yourself and no one else. Well, I'd just like to point out - no. Freedom means, there is no one to tell you what to do or how to think, so why don't we freely share our thoughts and actions and just make life a little easier for everyone. Us humans, we may need a leader, but just the though of a community each with their own mindset, each with their own ideas can create such a vast information field.

So, what's my point before I go off into yet another rant? I think the definition of a Libertine doesn't give it much justice. When I found such an astonishing word to associate myself with freedom, I didn't think it was so restricted in its own definition! Another point is the point of morals. Morals aren't something to be tampered with, nor would I like to tamper with them, but it's a pretty flexible word. What is right and what is wrong is an ever changing dilema that just gets muddled up with the rest of my words I will never be able to understand fully. Poor me. Why would morality hold you back? I think if one should be a free-thinker one should understand themselves and know what they find is right to do and what isn't. I think a free-man has to know this in order to become free. 

Look, I don't expect you to 'get it' or find this life changing, I just wanted to get my thoughts off my chest. This is the kind of questioning I get up to in my rather exciting life, but I can't help but wonder how many people that actually read this will judge what I say with resentment. If I had my way, I'd say fuck the fuck off and let me have freedom in what I say, you do what you like and I'll do what I like and the world would be a better place. 

Imagine - all of us just drifting in our own minds, understanding everything we want to understand, being free in that sense. Then, imagine others who do the same, others with completely polarised thoughts to yourself. Imagine sharing those free thoughts with no other influence around you, and imagine what we could come up with. 

Hopefully a piece of writing slightly better than this one. 

Norliza.