Where's my mind?

So, what the hell goes in this little box? I've written the title, I've got the ideas, but where do I go from here?

It's hard to decipher what goes on in anyone's mind without cracking it open and taking a peep. It is because we are always hiding, always masking our mind with rubbish society throws at us. I apologise in advance, I don't have answers, I just have opinions, and this may get a bit negative a lot of the time. That's the big thing - society - blame it all on "society" man! Of course, every human being needs someone or something to project blame onto, anything to divert responsibility from themselves. We are a selfish species. The way you think is clouded by what "they" think ("they" is "the man" who controls the "mainstream" and the "corporations" dude.)

Joking aside, I actually do believe we can't see what is truly in our mind based upon the everyday doings of modern society. We are so conscious about what others think about us more than what we think about ourselves. Therefore, no one can truly, in essence, "be themselves" around anyone, no matter how close they are. Apologies for the overuse of sarcastic quotation marks... I don't mean to sound like a pedantic twat, but it is starting to annoy me as well.

So, want to know where my mind is at? As far away from human beings as can be physically possible without getting it lost in the vastness of our universe. Yeah, I'm pretty fucking spaced out. In my opinion, it is safe to keep your mind and your body at a distance as not to be too caught up in reality and life's everyday doings and loosing an identity all together. Growing up in a pretty isolated childhood, I retreated to my imagination, which, by the age of five, was up in the clouds. I know, all children have a beautiful imagination which I yearn to recoil safely back into, but my imagination was completely separate to my everyday life.

Getting your head around all of this? I'm not sure I am entirely...

I watched a fascinating TEDTalks the other day, and the author Elizabeth Gilbert was giving the talk on creativity and, rather interestingly, explored why suicide was common amongst the creative thinkers. First off, I'm not here to talk about the talk she gave (I have a link at the bottom for those interested), but  I'd like to give you my answer to why suicide is more common with the creative.

To be creative, one must think like no one else. Their minds must work like no one else. They always question where their mind is and dedicate their life to discover it. I find it utterly incredible. Of course, I am speaking entirely out of my own experience and how my own mind tends to work, but I believe that those who dedicate their life to creativity are bound to feel the same. Well then, how does this relate to the dreaded taking of ones own life? Well, some people just never find their mind.

It's a horrible thought, and one that I've been dreading my whole life. Put it like this; your entire life you've been dedicating yourself to unlocking the secret to something in your own head, but you have no idea how or why or where so you simply question it, or express it, or hold on to it and let no one else in. No one can possibly think the same as you, they can't help you - so you panic.

It is the most lonely feeling in the world, and it's been haunting me my entire life.
It's that breaking point in a person's mind when they realise that there is nothing left for them in the world and that no one is ever going to listen.

I'm truly sorry for the melancholic post, but I hope this really reaches out to some people, if not, I hope it was just a smashing read.

TEDtalks link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA


Norliza.